I Am A Golfer--And Proud Of It

There is something I must share with you that is very important in my life. This I can say with a great amount of conviction and I am very proud to be able to say it. I am a golfer.
     There are a lot of misconceptions about the game I play and those who play it. Those misconceptions and untruths are fostered and kept going by those who mostly have never played the game or been on a golf course. Those who criticize the game probably have never been exposed to the real game and those who play it. This is a shame.  Another thing that they fail to understand is golf is more than a game played on a grass field with sticks and balls. It is life and almost an identity.
      Not all golfers are "rich, white men". Yes, the "Country Club" is quite nice but we are not always a member.  In fact, the average golfer is not a member of any private club but plays at either a public course or a city owned municipal course. I confess that at one time I was a member of a semi-private golf course, but this was an economic decision not driven by the fact I wanted something exclusive. I will not apologize for that.  My daughter and son played golf so it was more economical to pay a monthly unlimited family golf rate than to pay a green fee each time I took my family out to play or they played by themselves. It also must be said that although a great course and well maintained the club was not totally private, the membership was very diverse in ethnic makeup and economic stature.  This was an everyman's course and club, which the public could play by the way.
       I don't play Pebble Beach or Augusta National on a regular basis. Every now and then I treat myself to a round of golf in Monterey but it is not on the 17 Mile Drive. Most likely at Monterey Pines or at Pacific Grove Municipal is where I will tee it up where green fees are under $50. Sometimes I will splurge and play Bayonet/Blackhorse located on the old Ft. Ord in the hills above Monterey. Should I be celebrating a special ocassion and they have a special going I may really throw cauthin into the wind and play Poppy Hills or Spanish Bay which are on The 17 Mile Drive, but these are very rare times. When I am at home in Merced I play a couple of nearby public courses and pay about $38 on weekends and less during the week.  You won't find any of the courses I play on a regular basis on a Golf Digest Top 100 Courses list, but they are still a joy to play.  This is what golf truly is, not what you see in Golf Digest or on TV.
      The golfers that I know and enjoy the game are a diverse lot. There are a couple of my good friends that are trying to get me to join MAGA, or The Mexican American Golf Association. What is great is that it really doesn't matter. At the courses I play at I have played with people from all ethnic, economic, political and religious backgrounds. A lot of women play where I play, many of whom I wouldn't want to get into a money game with--including my wife. If anything, golf is the sport that truly brings all people together to play a great game and enjoy each other's fellowship.
     Golf is more than just a "Rich, White Man's" sport. At the course, you are not white, black, hispanic or asian or native american, male or female. We play together because we enjoy the game of golf and we enjoy each other.  We are brother and sister golfers, and to further boil that down we are all golfers. We are family.  All are welcome.

Home away from home.

 
Please take a minute to watch the video on Rancho Del Rey. Its a great course. Here is the video:
https://youtu.be/te1j9JtiImY

Golf And Travel: A Great Mix

     Two of my favorite things to do in life go quite well together--golf and travel.  I have visited many places over the years in my travels. My heart swelled with pride as a Greek American when I waled through the ruins of The Acropolis of Athens. My Christian faith grew as I wandered the Biblical sites of Israel and witnessed sunset over Jerusalem. My cousins and I were sitting on the banks of the Charles River for the American Bicentennial listening to Arthur Fiedler's concert and then watched the most breathtaking Fourth of July fireworks display I have ever seen. I visited the Caribbean a few times and one of my favorite trips was a cruise to eastern Canada out of New York City where I have been on several occasions. One thing was missing on these trips though, and that was my golf clubs.
     My clubs have traveled with me to many places as well.  We live close to Monterey and I have played a good number of the great courses in the Monterey area. There are a couple of courses I have played in the San Francisco Bay area as well, from Novato all the way down to San Jose. I think one of my favorites was Sharp Park in Pacifica just south of San Francisco,the course sits directly on the Pacific Ocean. Sacramento has many good courses and has become a wonderful golf destination.
     On one trip I went to San Diego and Palm Springs. I was on a writing assignment and decided to go to San Diego as a side trip.  My clubs were along with me but I wasn't going to play in San Diego. It was boring in that hotel room so I convinced myself to tear myself away from the exciting nothingness I was doing and play golf. I wanted to play a new course and Sand Creek in the hills above Chula Vista was suggested to me, so I played it. The course has since been placed on my favorites list. I have also played Balboa Park and Coronado in the San Diego area, with Coronado being my favorite.
     Palm Springs was a great trip.  I got to play Desert Dunes, which was not on my itinerary to play, Mesquite Country Club and Cimerron Country Club. I had never been to Palm Springs before and this was truly a special trip. My editor wanted me to do a story on finding courses with reasonable green fees during their high season of January.  These three courses fit the bill perfectly and were a lot of fun to play. I know it was hard fitting golf in between sitting out by the pool on a warm winter day and going up the Palm Springs Tram to the top of Mt. San Jacinto, but I just had to do it.  I was on a mission.
      Have you ever taken a cruise and brought your clubs along to play golf?  I have on a couple of occasions. I have been down to Mexico on cruises and played Bajamar in Ensenada and also a course in Matzatlan which I don't remember the name.  My cruises have taken me to Western Canada as well where I played a course in Vancouver called Mayfair Lakes. That whole cruise and golf experience has a story to it, but I won't tell it here.  We were supposed to go to Mexico, but the H1N1 hit Mexico so we had to sail on a different itinerary.  The course and cruise was very different and I enjoyed the whole experience immensely. And oh by the way, did you know that there is a fun golf course on Catalina Island?
      I have taken my clubs other places as well.  We have traveled to Florida a couple of times and I took my sticks on one of those trips. I got to play in Orlando and in the Tampa area. I didn't get to see any alligators though. It gets hot and humid back there.  I'm used to playing in the heat of the California summer, but the humidity is very low. It was very humid there when I played and I thought I was going to melt. There are some great courses in Florida and I hope to go back and play many of them.
     My daughter, son-in-law and grandson used to live in Salinas, California where we would visit them often and I would--what else--play golf.  When the recession hit things got tough so they decided to pack up and move to Missouri where my son-in-law was from. I have gone back and visited them, taking my clubs the first time. Golf season in Missouri pretty much ends on Halloween, but this visit was set for after Thanksgiving in late November.  I played anyway There was no snow at the time and the course was still in great shape.
     There are other great destinations where I have played golf.  I haven't mentioned The San Luis Obispo County area yet, and there are some wonderful courses there such as Morro Bay and Cypress Ridge. I guess that there are just too many courses in the world and not enough time to play them all. One thing is for certain and that is if you go, take your clubs along and play if you have time. Enjoy the wonderful courses out there. Travel and golf certainly go together.

There are many beautiful courses out there to play.  Take along your clubs. 

So, What's The Ruling On This One?

     I have been working too hard. If you have been reading our blog you know that I have talked recently about how the rules of golf can be a bit complicated.  In fact, this has absorbed my thinking for some time now.  However, I was told once that the rules of golf are a good cop designed to take care of unfortunate situations such as wet fairways and bad lies due to some of the stupid things mankind does on a golf course.  I will leave this to your imagination, and I am sure that you have come up against such situations where the rule book was a great source of relief--literally.  I have been thinking about the rules quite a bit--maybe a bit too much.
      Before I start, I just want to go on record folks as saying that I am not losing it.  What I am about to share may seem that way, but I will confidently say that I am of sound mind.  I know, I checked the PDSM--the guide psychiatrists and psychologists use to diagnose mental illness--and I couldn't find anything that matched exactly. Now my wife and the cookie thing in the shower, that's another story, but I won't go there.  I love you dear and I'm glad you don't read my blog posts.
     Here's what happened and I was wondering if you could get a ruling on this and share it with me.  I'm curious as what the proper ruling would have been.  I don't have a rule book handy, its out in my golf bag in the garage and I'm too lazy to go get it. So if you could be so kind as to help me out on this one, I don't think that I will sleep well tonight if I don't get and answer.
      I had a good night's sleep last night. Do you remember your dreams after you wake up? I do quite a bit and I wanted to share a particular dream I had just shortly before I woke up this morning. Here goes, and please remember that I am relatively sane at this moment but pay attention as this is important.  I was at my first professional golf tournament and I was to tee off on my first hole.  Very close to the tee was the starter's table, which was a cheesy little inexpensive card table where you had dinner on when company came over when you were a child.  You remember those, don't you? Anyway, my name was called and I proceeded to the first tee.  Yes, I do admit that I was nervous. How could I not be, after all this was my first professional start. I teed up the ball and got ready to play my drive.
      I took a mighty swing at the ball--WHOSH.  It was a booming drive 350 yards down the middle of the fairway--not.  Somehow I whiffed the ball, almost like a bad bunt by a pitcher in a big Giant game. The ball squibbed to the left and wound up on the starter's card table settling behind a paperweight on the starter's table. What do I do now?  What is the ruling?  Do I have to play the ball where it lay, or do I just withdraw from the tournament, go to the bar and have a few tall cold ones calling it a day claiming a terminal case of golfer's embarrassment?  Do I get on the table, probably falling to my death given the strength, height and stability of the table and play the shot where it lay? I don't know, but what would the ruling be here?  If any of you have an ides as to what it is, I would like to know.
      Honestly, I can't tell you how all this played out--a bad pun, I know but hey its Saturday and you needed the chuckle--because I woke up.  Seriously now though, all you golf rule officionados, what would the ruling be? Take out your rule books and let me know. I would appreciate the ruling should that particular situation come up again and I need a ruling.

In trouble again?

 



   
   

So, You Want To Put On A Golf Tournament

     Have you ever put on a golf tournament?  I'm not talking about a professional event like The US Open, but that small--or large--company or organization event.  It can be a lot of fun, but it also can be a challenge as well.  I am in the middle of planning and pulling off a first and hopefully annual tournament at our church.  Its something that I have done before and enjoy, but it does have its challenges.
     As the process of hosting that event unfolds, I am going to share it with you. Today I am just going to comment on a few things that are involved in bringing a social tournament to the day of playing the tournament.  There are many elements that are involved and I would like to briefly mention a few of the details that must be considered and arranged. The main thing is to not get frustrated as you will encounter all kinds of challenges in hosting the tournament and the outcome should be fun and rewarding.  Remember to that being flexible is very important as things have a tendency to change before the event. What I am going to mention is pretty basic, but if you have never put an event together you may inadvertently overlook these.
     I would start by saying that you must first secure approval and blessing from the organization that is to sponsor the event.  If you are personally hosting and running the event, this isn't a problem in that you can just say, "Let's do this." However, if you are coordinating the event for an organization such as a church or school, that event must be approved.  The same is true if you are doing the event for a business. This may sound a bit basic but you have to have the seal of approval from the business or organization that is going to benefit from it. You also need to consider what kind of event you are going to have, whether it will be a fundraiser or just a fun get together. Many decisions need to be made before you even begin to think about the actual details of holding of the event.
     You have the approval of the board to hold the event, now what? The event is just going to be a time for the organization to get together and have some fun. Its not going to be a fundraiser, just a good time for all.  Are you ready to tackle the big three--date, time and place?  That's easy, right?  Not so fast cowboy, it isn't as easy as it sounds.  The organization's events calendar, the regular calendar, the time of day the tournament is to be held and the location of a course all come into play here. The stars all have to align for this.
      Organizations sometime have events scheduled on Saturdays, which the tournament can't be held because of those events. You have to consider holidays in there as well for a couple of reasons--people take trips and are gone, plus holiday times are a premium at golf courses so the course generally doesn't want to give up these times. You also have to schedule play so that the whole tournament can finish.  Ideally the tournament shouldn't have to finish using coal miner's lamps. You want the whole field to finish before the sun sets and darkness falls. So, what time the tournament starts is very important.
     How about the course and securing a course to play on. I would venture a guess that if you are going to have a golf tournament, this would be a fairly crucial component. The course has to have the date open in order to host the tournament. How expensive are the green fees at the course, and if the cost of the tournament is too high, will it limit participation?  What is the location of the course? What is included in the tournament cost?  Will there be a dinner and how about prizes?  Is the course going to supply prizes or do you have to come up with them? What will the format be? Is it going to be an individual event, or are you going to have a "scramble" format?  Is the tournament designed for experienced golfers or do you want golfers of all level and non-golfers to play?
     There is a lot that goes into hosting a golf tournament. I know that much of what I have said is very simple, but I hope that it helps some of you that are new to the process and are considering putting a tournament on.  They are a lot of fun to play in and to take that a step further and actually put one together actually adds to the fun. What the heck, take a shot at it.  The rewards are many and you should have a lot of fun doing it.  It is quite an experience playing in a tournament that you have put together.

And they're off!  Enjoy the tournament and remember dinner afterwards.

   

I Love Golf Movies

    I love golf and I am sure that many of you do to. You almost have to, especially if you are reading a blog like this that deals with golf. How many of you love movies.  I am particularly fond of war movies and historical films. Another of my favorite genres--I like that word genre, its pretty cool--is the golf movie. I really don't know the ratio of war pictures released by Hollywood to golf films, but I bet that war movies wins by a landslide. However, there are some great movies that have to deal with golf.
      Here is a short list of the golf movies I have enjoyed,  In case you are wondering, I am going to be non-committal as far as which ones I think are the best because I love them all and have chosen them for different reasons. This is just a list, so don't get mad at me at the order I am presenting them.

1.Caddyshack. What can I say but "Its in the hole" and "Be the ball"?  How about "its your honor your honor". That movie cracks me up and is a classic golf movie. It is still relevant today. Is it wrong that I still watch it whenever it is on, preferably on a station where the original is uncut.  By the way, both of my wives don't think that any of it is funny, although my second wife is an avid golfer.

2.  The Legend Of Baggar Vance.  I am watching this one again.  What a story.  The golf references are timeless and very well said.  I like the concept of the "authentic swing". Also Baggar put it very well when he says, "Golf is a game you can't win, only play. You can never be perfect." How true that is and maybe that is why so many of us play and enjoy the game so much.

3.  The Caddy.  Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis were quite the comedy team. I enjoy this film and its comedy. If any of you wondered where the song  "Amore" originated, this movie was it. You remember, don't you? When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore.  Well, maybe you don't.

4. Follow The Sun. This is probably a movie that has been forgotten but I highly recommend it.  It is about Ben Hogan and the tragic accident he had that almost ended his golf career. What a man of courage and determination. It shows the determination and courage to mount an almost miraculous comeback from that accident. That's what our game is all about.

5.  Happy Gilmore. I don't know if I should follow up Follow The Sun with Happy Gilmore, but oh well.  I didn't like Happy Gilmore when it first came out. I thought that it was going to give golfers who don't play the game or those who don't respect the game the wrong idea. But the bottom line on the move was it was funny. I guess I am just a golf purist at heart.

6. Tim Cup. Hasn't every golfer had the dream of playing in a US Open tournament. The closest I got to that  was to play in a tournament paired up the starter for the USGA. No one will remember who won the US Open, but they will remember the 12.  That was a great line, and I think that Rene Russo is hot. Don't tell my wife I said that though.

7. The Greatest Game Ever Played.  Both of the main historical characters in the film had demons to come to grips with. Funny thing is that their demons were very similar. It was great to see golf played as it was in 1912. I recommend highly that you see this movie.

8.  Bobby Jones: Stroke Of Genius.  This was a fascinating movie that brought to life Bobby Jones. I would venture to say that he was the greatest golfer to ever play the game, strictly by his accomplishments. he was quite a man as well, earning several college degrees and earning both a CPA plus a Law degree. By the way, all of his golf accomplishments were done as an amateur.  He never turned pro.

    These are eight of my favorites. I left out a lot of movies simply because I never saw them or just saw parts of them. A few I couldn't remember or weren't that memorable such as the TV movie Banning. How many of you saw or remember that one? That's what I thought.  If you have a favorite or would like to comment on these, by all means do so in the comments section or email me at golfisforeveryone@gmail.com.  I would love to hear from you.

Trump National Los Angeles has never been used in a movie to my knowledge, but I see it all the time in commercials. No politics intended, its a great course with some great views.

Slow Play: When You Are Given Lemons, Make Lemonade

     How much do you hate slow play.  I think as golfers, we all do.  But let's put some things in perspective about slow play.  You have to take a look at this before you make a quick judgement. Slow play can be a good thing, depending on how you look at it and what the reasons are for slow play. When it is slow out there and you are given lemons--or slow play--make lemonade.
     I think you have to look at the reasons why play is so slow.  There are good reasons and there are bad reasons. I hate groups in front of me that don't play ready golf.  It seems as though there is a virus among golfers in some groups that says that you must go to each other's balls and watch your friend hit their shot.  Then, everyone in the group goes over to watch you hit your shot. This is bad folks. Please play ready golf.  Go to your own ball and be ready to hit immediately after the guy who just hit plays their shot. Believe me, this will speed things us. Play the shot.
    That three foot putt you are about to stroke is not for three million dollars. Hit the darn thing and move on.  What happens if you miss?  You make bogey or double bogey at worst and lose that quarter. Its not the end of the world.  Hit the stupid thing, will ya?  Lee Trevino said it best when he said, "You can miss a two footer just as quick in three seconds as you can in thirty."
     Many who hate slow play overlook a simple reason why a golf course is taking too long to play.  Could it be that they teed off on a beautiful Saturday morning and they are not the only ones who had that same idea.  In other words, the course is crowded with other golfers. Maybe its not that people are playing slow, its that there are so many golfers playing the course. You know that is the case.  There is nothing you can do to speed up play, because there is just nowhere to go.  I understand the frustration, I have been there before.  Just maybe its time to look at this from a different perspective and start squeezing the lemons. Get some sugar and water to make the lemonade.
     Let me explain what I am talking about.  The very fact that play is slow means that there are a lot of golfers on the course.  Let me translate that statement.  What it means is there are a lot of people playing the course--a lot of golfers.  Unfortunately they have chosen the same time to play as you have, but having so many players enjoying the game of golf is a good thing.  Remember, every one of these golfers that are out there playing have payed a green fee and that is revenue for the course. It means that the course can keep their doors open and as golfers we have to understand that.
     Here is a revelation for most golfers. In order to keep the doors of a golf course and the greens green you have to have revenue.  People have to play and pay their green fees,  The course doesn't run on the good thoughts of the golfers who play it. It takes money my friend, and the more golfers who play the course the more money the course has to operate. Slow play on a crowded course is a good thing.  What would be happening if there were no golfers on the course but you?  Can you afford the many millions of dollars that it takes to run a golf course?  I don't think so.
     Less golfers on the course probably means a faster round.  Why are you out here anyway?  Do you really want to return to life off the course?  What are you going to do after you have completed a round in three and a half hours?   You are probably going to go in the coffee shop or bar and have a tall cold beer or to or maybe a soda and talk over the round with the other three in your foursome. Two and a half hours later you will head for home. That makes a lot of sense, doesn't it? I would rather spend the time on the course, even though I enjoy the nineteenth hole. Besides, what is happening the rest of the day that is so pressing?  Do you have to mow the lawn?  How about that paperwork from your job?  So the movie starts at 1:15 and you are not going to make it.  Plan for a later showing.
      I have to agree with you that we can speed up play and cut the times for a round of golf to less than four and a half hours.  There are more issues that cause slow play that I haven't mentioned.
 I have to admit that slow play is caused by players playing slow and that is a bad thing that we have to address. Yes we can do something about players playing slow because they are not keeping up.   What you have to realize is that in most cases slow rounds are caused by crowded golf courses.   There really isn't much we can do if a course is playing to its capacity as far as the number of golfers playing the course.  A full golf course is a good thing.  We have to realize that and just make some lemonade.

Do you really want to rush a great round of golf on a beautiful course?

   

How to Get Better at Golf: By Mark Croft PGA

How to Get Better at Golf

Mark Croft PGA

     How do I get better at golf?  This  question haunts 90% of people who wish to improve their golf game and wish to enjoy better golf without frustration, confusion and often times absolute depression.  The self diagnosed antidote is always more practice and more balls and more swings and yet, little or no improvement is the result. Many read magazine articles, watch videos and listen to the advice of the Golf Channel and again…no improvement.

     Why? Both life and golf are often a funny game and can be very confusing. Does this sound familiar? Often life can be simplified and easier when we do what we are supposed to do and proceed with what we have learned to do correctly with our own adaption and adjustments. So as life goes, golf goes.

     Improving your golf game can be a very simple process. Everything we do in life we often find that we do some things better than others and more likely than not we focus on the things we do well, instead of focusing on the areas where we need improvement.  So how do you improve your golf game simply and with positive results? Simply follow your personal process of life improvement through the same process that you use every day to enhance your golf improvement.

     First you need to identify what you do well in a round of golf. It may be driving, fairway play, chipping or putting. Once you have identified and recognized what you do best and you are comfortable, confident and honest in your assessment. Now identify the skill set or sets where you need improvement. Commit your assessment to paper and be honest about your assessment. Once you identify your need for improvement for your desired skills ask yourself a very simple question; what do I need to do to improve those particular skill sets?

     Seriously, how many times have you been asked in separate columns to write your pros and cons of a project or process? Therein lays the complexity of golf and life. Pros are always positive and more often than not cons are negatives. Let’s try to make the cons positive as well. The cons are the skill sets you wish to improve on. Improvements are never a negative and always a positive. So make that list and be positive about it. Once you have identified what you wish to improve on, create a plan that specifically identifies the improvements you wish to make. 

     In review there are your three core principals to improve your golf game and your life game quickly. Remember honesty and commitment to paper is a very important part of the process:

1              * Recognize what you do well and be comfortable with your assessment.

2                *Identify what you wish to improve on.

3                  *Create a workable plan of how you are going to improve.

     In the process of creating and implementing your plan, I would strongly suggest you seek out a competent and understanding PGA or LPGA golf professional who wishes to join you in your process of improvement. A good golf professional will not teach you, but they will coach you through your improvement process. They will become an integral part of your plan and your goals. Your coach will become your partner in your process.

     If you choose to go it alone, that is reasonable and understandable as well. Be sure you plan your time so it is the most productive for your improvement goals. Do not get frustrated and give in to just practicing what you do well. Remember this is a process of improvement and should not be viewed as a miracle overnight.  

Once again, and this is very important, remember these three critical steps:

1        *  What do I do well?

2          *What needs improvement?

3           * What must be done to improve?

These are your three simple steps to better golf and better life.

This is not just a golf lesson…it is an important life lesson!  Have fun and play better golf.

You can contact Mark Croft at mark@markcroftgolf.com

Work on your game, but with a purpose.  Don't just whack balls with a driver.  What are you trying to accomplish in your practice?

Yes, Golf Is A Hard Game: Just Tell That To These People

     I was going to take today off from writing my blog, so I won't write very much. This was on my mind all day yesterday, especially after I wrote my Friday post.

 When you think that golf is hard, think of these golfers.  They love the game so much that they will do anything to play keeping it all in perspective that golf is a game and is supposed to be fun. So the next time you tee it up, think of these courageous players.  They come to play and to enjoy the game. I know this first hand as my son is a special needs golfer. He loves the game. Nothing can stop any of them from achieving that and the pure joy of playing the game.

How hard can golf be?  They are challenged, but they enjoy the game.

GOLF IS YOUR GAME-- MAKE IT WHAT YOU WANT IT TO BE: Its Very Hard To Learn And Get Good At It

     Its time.  I'm going to get my clubs and shoes and put them in the car.  The golf course is not that far away. I'm excited because I am going to play golf today and shoot a two under par 70--right.  Now comes the truth.  I can't play today as I have a busy day scheduled slaving away here at the computer.  This blog won't get written for next week and I have some stuff I have to do to update the website.  That's the first thing.  The second thing is that there is no way I will ever shoot two under par.  I'm not being negative, its just a fact. I am not built to shoot two under and I am just being realistic.  However, when I do play, I know I am going to have a ball playing.  I always do. That my friend, is the important part.  Whenever I go out I enjoy playing no matter how I play.
     Many critics of the game say that it just takes too long to get good at it and that the game is very hard to learn.  So is Monopoly or chess, but we still play those games.  How many of you don't play Monopoly or checkers because the rules are too complex and it takes too long to get good at the game. I occasionally play poker and am still learning the rules of Texas Hold-Em. I still play, although it has been a drain on my bank account. I don't know what my wife is going to do with all that money.
     How many of you play baseball or softball? Can you field a ground ball like Brandon Crawford or hit a home run like Buster Posey--OK, I'm a Giant fan, what can you say?  Do you play softball? Can you play high level fast pitch or do you play church league.  You play the game not because you are good at it--although many of you are--but because you love the game.  Maybe this is a news flash for you but we all play to different levels depending on skill and ability.  How good you are depends on how good you want to be and your abilities, but if you don't ever get good at golf you shouldn't let that stand in your way of enjoying the game and playing it.
     Yes the game is hard to "master"--no pun intended. Yes it is a hard game, but you also have to remember that you are never EVER perfect in golf.  There just is no such thing. Remember what Baggar Vance said, "Golf is a game that is meant to be played.  You never can win."  That is so important. You play the game to play it, you can never beat it. There is always something to learn, but it just takes time and playing the game.
      It may be helpful to think about this.  Try not to concentrate on your performance--your score and how you are playing--and focus more on the process of playing the game. Like most sports, if you concentrate on the process of the game, that is playing the game and having fun the performance part of the game or score will follow along. As I have written in past posts, the choice is up to you.
     Enjoy the game where you are at.  You can make the choice of getting better or not.  That is up to you.  Yes, getting good at this game takes a while but the rewards are there.  Even if you play poorly, you can still enjoy the game. Its all a matter of perspective.  It takes time and playing.  I have another news flash for you.  You may never get as good as you want to. That's OK too.  The bottom line is, enjoy the game you have and over time that game will get better.
     If you played baseball or softball, do you remember T-ball?  Yep, you didn't start playing in the friendly confines of AT&T park and you certainly wouldn't lower yourself to play in Dodger Stadium.  You started playing T-ball in order to learn the fundamentals of the game. The same is true in golf.  You don't have to start playing the big course.  Why not go to an executive par 3 course to hone your skills and then move up to the regulation course.  Another alternative is to play the regulation course from 150 yards out or at a distance that is comfortable?  Why not tee up each shot until you feel comfortable hitting the ball off the ground.  These are all modifications that a new golfer can make to enjoy the game more.
     Simplify the game and make it easier for you and as your skills progress, try hitting the ball off the ground.  Oh, and why should you take ten putts on the green?  Try a long putt and then a short putt from about three feet and limit your putts to three.  You will get the hang of putting.  In and case, don't beat yourself up when you first start.  Your goal should be to get better and more importantly enjoy the game.
     If you want to get better in this game, at some point take a lesson from a PGA or LPGA professional. they can diagnose your game and tell you what y you need to improve on. Remember to that practice is important to improving.  The game is not hard, as long as you keep it in perspective.  It takes time and there is a lot to learn.  I haven't learned all there is to learn in golf and I have been playing golf for more than forty five years.  That one of the challenges and fun parts of the game. Enjoy the game and have fun.

The range is a great place to work on your game.  I'm sure the PGA or LPGA pro will help you. 

GOLF IS YOUR GAME-- MAKE IT WHAT YOU WANT IT TO BE: The Complex Rules

     I am going to start today by once again asking the question why do you play golf?  I know that we all would say that the game is a lot of fun and a challenge as well as providing an opportunity to enjoy the great outdoors in a special way, but what are our motivations for playing?  What is it that we get out of playing golf?  Do we just play for fun, or is there something else that drives us to the game and playing such as the competition involved? What about the social aspect of interacting with other golfers?
     The game of golf has many level at which to play at and that is one of the great things about the game. You are free to choose what you want to do with the game and to where you want to go with it. Your motivations may be to just go out and knock the little white ball around.  In fact, you don't have to use a white ball as ball manufacturers have started making balls of different colors. Do you choose to be just a "weekend hacker" and just go out for the fun of it or are you a serious golfer who establishes a handicap and plays in tournaments at all levels of the game. All this is up to you. And then, there are the rules.
     I hear a lot of criticisms as to why people don't play golf is because of the complex rule book. Taken at face value, this is correct. There are a lot of complex rules in golf and it is impossible to know them all off the top of your head. Hey, wait a minute.  All sports have rules.  Have you ever tried to explain a ball or a strike to someone who has never seen a baseball game?  How about a first down in football? I watched rugby in the Olympics the other day and had no clue as to what was happening. It looked fun to watch, but I wouldn't play rugby, the pains of my football days are still there given my involvement in football. That was almost forty-five years ago. It seems as though you always learn the rules that go with the game you play especially when you play that game at it's highest levels, and you don't always learn them all at the same time. Sometimes you find out about a little known rule that causes you a problem such as a disqualification, but you will remember that rule. That is part of the game and golf is no different.
     I have played a lot of tournament golf in my golfing career. There are many rules that I learned because I was called on by my opponent and suffered the consequences of breaking that rule. I'm OK with that because that too is part of the game.  Here is what I am trying to get at.  Formal play in tournaments is different than just going out and playing eighteen or nine or whatever--remember, as I said yesterday its up to you--just to go out and have fun.  Do you have to stick to the letter of the law? Its your choice whether or not you do.  When I play, I try to stick to the rules because I don't want to get in the habit of not following the rules. That may effect me in my tournament play, and I want to keep and accurate handicap. I still have fun trying to play by all the rules, but I don't know them all.
     What about when you go out and just want to hit the ball around?  Do you have to play by the rules?  You are free to choose. You should stay within the guidelines of courtesy and not effect others on the course, but what the heck.  If you want to hit that mulligan and it doesn't slow play up, why not? If you want to kick that ball out of the trees and have a better shot at the green, why not? If the ball goes out of bounds do you have to take the penalty--not really.  How about not getting out of a bunker in four strokes?  Is it OK to throw the ball on the green after the fourth hit, why not? Please remember to rake the trap though. Is a "foot wedge" cheating?  In the strictest sense, I guess it is but if you are just out to have fun its not.  I don't do it, but that's just me.  Have fun, but please don't post this kind of round.  You are only hurting yourself.  You are free to choose the way you have fun.
     If you just follow a couple of general rules, it will be OK.  First, be courteous at all times and remember that you are not the only golfers on the course.  Keep up with the group in front of you. Respect the course, and don't damage it.  Try to follow as many rules as you can, but its OK to adjust or sometimes bend the rules. Don't worry, its your game. If you are just playing to have fun and not achieve a certain score, have fun. This is between yourself and yourself, so don't worry and have fun. Please remember that you are not the only one on the course and others are at a different place than you are. Be courteous to others and respect the course.  Most of all, enjoy the game and have fun.

Have fun and enjoy the game.

   























       

GOLF IS YOUR GAME-- MAKE IT WHAT YOU WANT IT TO BE: Time

     Why do you play golf? If you don't play golf, why haven't you taken up the sport? When I boil down my reasons, it all comes down for me to it is a lot of fun and a challenge.  There is a lot to that statement and I can break it down into its various components as to why it is a lot of fun but I won't in this post.  What I will say is that you should have fun when you play a round of golf.  Here is some advice I would like to give as a veteran player and observer of the game.  Golf is YOUR game and you should make it what you want it to be.  Don't be afraid of it, just go out and play but most importantly have fun.
     There are many who criticize the game of golf.  Many of the criticisms are valid if you take them at face value.  I choose not to, and want to take a closer look at those criticism. Critics charge that it takes too long to play a round of golf. They also say that the rules are too complex in order to play the game.  I have also heard it said that it takes too long to get good at the game and that the game is too difficult.  There are a few more, but I don't want to address those criticisms here. These three are enough of a start. What is it that you want out of the game of golf? There are ways to get around these criticisms and have fun playing the game. A lot of this has to do with the changing of some attitudes.  Let's go a little bit deeper with this.
      An official round of golf, or stipulated round as it is referred to in the Royal and Ancient rule book, is eighteen holes in tournament play.  Most of us play eighteen holes because that is the number of separate holes on most golf courses.  Some are nine and we play the second nine from different tees. I would refrain from drinking alcohol on the front side of a nine hole course because it may make the back nine a bit more confusing playing from different tees, but that is another story. The key here are the words "in tournament play".  Every time we play, are we playing in a tournament?  I don't think so. Its just that the tradition is to play eighteen holes. Playing eighteen holes is not something set in stone by the golf gods.  It is OK to play nine, or five or eleven if you are under a time constraint. Many courses offer a nine hole rate.  You'll be back again and probably have more time to finish eighteen holes. Life is full of choices, isn't it?  You are free to choose.  Its your game, just have fun.
     I have to admit that it does take four and a half hours on average to play eighteen holes. Here is my question.  What other activity do you have that is so important that you can't spare four and a half hours of enjoyment playing golf?  Is mowing the lawn and weeding the flower beds that important. Besides if golf is a rich man's sport, don't you have someone to do that for you anyway?  I'm only kidding about both the being rich and having someone do it for you. Golf is not a only a rich man's sport.  Just come out to my or any other public course and you will see this differently. Take a few hours to smell the roses--uh, play a round of golf.  Its good for you, your mental outlook on life and other important things when you get away from them briefly for a few hours.  Golf is a great way to clear your mind of the troubles of life.
    In our busy schedules now, we don't have much time for family.  I can sympathize with you and family time is very valuable. Why not bring the family to the golf course and have them learn the game?  What a great outdoor family activity that can build a lot of cherished memories. You don't have to play eighteen either if you have time constraints as well.
     As I have written in past posts, I am a member of "The Dawn Patrol".  I like to get my round in early in the morning as I am a morning person. It is very rare, given the number of golfers on the course that our round exceeds three and three quarter hours. We play at a leisurely pace but because the course is not crowded at that time, we finish quickly. I have also played late in the afternoon as well and have had quick rounds, especially when the temperature is over 100 degrees. Oh come now, it really isn't that hot.  Besides, the ball flies farther in the hot air.
     The day that you play on is important as well. A course is not going to be as busy on a Monday morning as it is on a Saturday morning with a nine o'clock tee time. Bring your lunch on Saturday and maybe your dinner.  It is going to be crowded and there is the possibility of a five or greater hour round.  You have to expect that as more people are able to play then. I realize that this is not possible because many people work during the week, but maybe its time to consider just playing nine after work if you want to salve your golf cravings and then prepare for the long round on Saturday. The bottom line is, there is a way to get around that long round. A Saturday round is just going to take longer.  There are more people playing.
      There are a couple of other solutions to the time it takes to get a round in. You may want to consider playing a different course in your area that is not as crowded but just as challenging. How about joining a private club if you have the funds to do so. I know that for most these two may not be options. First, you may only have one course that is near to you to play.  You may not have the funds to buy a private membership.  However, these are options that you can take advantage of if you are able to.
     There are ways to get around the time constraints of golf.  I think first they have to be viewed as challenges and not fatal obstacles to enjoying the game.  Time constraints can be overcome.  The game is yours to build as you choose. Don't let time constraints get in the way of playing golf and having fun.  Where there is a will, there is a way.  Go out and play some golf!

Let's have some fun and play some golf.

I Want To Get Better At Playing Golf

     I hear this quite a bit when I talk to other golfers. When you talk about the game, what they want to do as far as the game is concerned and where they want to go with it the answer most often given is, "I want to get better".  It seems as though this is a "pat" answer when you talk to most of those who play our wonderful game.  That is a lofty and wonderful goal, isn't it?
     What in the world does "I want to get better" mean?  I honestly don't think that people have a true answer to that. They say that they want to get better, but they can't quite come up with a concept of what that would look like. I would venture a guess that the vague answer to this would be a lower score, but how low and how are you going to get there? Each golfer's point of view on getting better and what that would look like is different. A new golfer would have a completely different vision than the high to middle handicap player. Maybe their goal is to break 100, or maybe to hit the ball into the air consistently. Maybe it is to establish a handicap.  That is up to the individual new golfer.  Maybe its to play more golf, who knows but each golfer has a different take on what getting better is.
     I am a middle handicapper whose handicap hovers somewhere around the eighteen level.  I have been as low as fifteen and as high as twenty-one. Right now I struggle to break 100 and there is a very specific reason that this condition exists today.  As I have shared in past posts I only play about once every three months.  When I go out on the course, it takes me a good whole to re-establish my feel for the game.  The front nine is always a disaster but most of my game returns on the back nine. In order for me to improve, I need to play more and my game will quickly return. It's just that simple. When I start to play more, I will return to where I was at with a base of eighteen for a handicap which will fluctuate up and down a few points but will stay within a range. I will never play to a zero handicap, nor would I want to devote the time it takes to get there. I love golf, but I don't love it that much.
     To a lot of new golfers "I want to get better at playing golf" means they want to become scratch golfers.  I have seen this happen, but it takes a lot of work and is very rare.  Even after a ton of work, lessons, a lot of play and a lot of practice this doesn't normally happen and generally it takes a very long time.  There are exceptions of course, but that doesn't occur very often and to play at that high a level take a lot of commitment. The problem is that new golfers, and even a lot of us veteran golfers see the touring pros on TV and think that this should be our model. That is not realistic because these are the "best of the best" and have made golf their life. Most of us will never see our games ascend to this level of play. It just won't happen for a number of reasons.  That doesn't mean we can't enjoy playing the game.  
     There is more to golf than just hitting a ball with a stick and getting it into a hole. Golf is like a working machine that has a lot of moving parts, each part is crucial to the way the machine runs. If one part of the machine is weak, it won't run as well.  In golf, you have to look at the parts and those parts include not only the moving parts of the swing, but also the operating instructions of of the player.
      How are the parts of your game?  Do they need a little bit of adjusting in order to perform at peak?  How is your putting and short game?  Are you hitting fairways, or is your driver leaking oil? What about your course management?  Do you need to take another look at the operating instructions and reset the computer? Take an inventory of how your golf machine is running and work on the part of the machine that needs attention. You just don't go out and play better golf.  It takes running a diagnostic check on the system and making changes. You may have to hire a mechanic, so find a good golf professional and seek out his or her advice and suggestions.  That may be just the ticket, you may need a lesson or two to reset the computer or add oil to the machine.
     One very important thing that you must keep in perspective.  Golf is a game and it is a lot of fun to play.  We all have different abilities, so we need to realize that we may not ascend to the heights in golf we though we were going to achieve for a number of reasons. I play the game because I enjoy the game for a lot of reasons. At this point, the professional tour will never see me as a player. I'm OK with that and that isn't a problem for me. Getting better in golf means seeing improvement in your game no matter how small the improvement. Don't get frustrated, you may never be a scratch golfer and you may not break 100.  That may be a fact, but don't let it interfere with the enjoyment of the game. Play within your game, work to improve as much as you can but don't get frustrated, but most of all have fun and keep playing.
     Don't forget to take a lesson from your local golf professional.

I'm almost ready to go.  Here's to a good round. Let's play some golf!

   













           

THE DECLINE OF GOLF AS A SPORT AND THE OBVIOUS EFFECT ON GOLF AS A BUSINESS: By David Fineg: Final Thoughts From Golf Is For Everyone

     "Hi Mike, how are you doing today?" I asked the fellow behind the cash register who is checking golfers in for their round.
     "I'm fine.  Howzitgoin Dave?  When are you taking that golf trip to San Diego?"  Mike asks.
     "We've kind of put it off until next spring.  Things just didn't quite work out as we had planned." I shared.
     "That's too bad, San Diego is a great golf destination.  Who is playing with you Dave?  your normal group?"
     "Yep, same group." was my response.
     "You're fourth up on the tee, so you might want to get out there." Mike said.
     Who is Mike, you may wonder?  Is he the gnome that works the cash register and sends golfers out to the starter to tee off?  Far from it, as Mike is the commanding general of this particular golf facility.  He is the PGA Head Pro.  Why is he behind the counter running the cash register checking in golfers? Is this a good thing?  I think it is for a number of reasons.
     In my opinion, the Head Professional sets the tone of the golfing facility. How the Head Pro views his or her role is crucial to what the facility is going to be like. Is the pro a people person, making golfers welcome at the facility and putting out front a face and a personality to the facility, or are they just an executive who crunches numbers and is only concerned with course profit and loss.  Don't get me wrong, the financial aspect of a course and how healthy it is very important, but creating a welcoming atmosphere is just as important.  Golfers truly want to play where they play, and part of that comes from how they are treated and the social feel of the facility.
     How committed is that professional to growing the game of golf?  Are they concerned about the needs of new golfers or just those of experienced golfers?  What programs are in place for juniors? What about women's programs and programs for couples?  How committed to creating programs for these groups is the pro.  Are these programs important to the pro, or is he or she just interested in running the facility? The "Bean Counter" pro that only is there to run a facility loses site of those very crucial aspects of the game and the course.  The course is more than just the course, pro shop, range, giving lessons and running the restaurant. The pro is very much responsible for setting the "feel" of the facility and creating a welcoming environment for players. That includes hiring cordial staff, including course assistants.

     Golf is a "People" business. They must have their finger on the pulse of the facility.  That means they must be visible and available to customers. Being holed up in their office going over last month's restaurant receipts is not being available. Those receipts are important, but even more important are the people playing the course. Those receipts should be the domain of the food and beverage manager, not the pro.  The pro needs to know the bottom line numbers, but does he have to know how many hot doge were sold last month? That pro needs to be out of their office, dealing with golfers. They need to be saying hello to players and welcoming them.
    We have strayed from the people part of running a golf facility and have forced pros into this unfortunate role.  With the coming of course management companies, there is a greater focus by these companies on profits.  The pro becomes an accountant, not a golf professional.
     Before you run me out on a rail for writing this, I have to say that I am a big fan of golf professionals. It is a very tough job and they put in many long hours to make sure a facility is run properly.  I haven't even mentioned how they have to deal with course conditions and other challenges. We need to thank them.  Could you do me a favor though?  Could you come out of your office and say hello every once and a while?  I want to tell you how good a job you are doing and it would be great to talk to the person who is running the place.  

There is more to running a golf facility than just the profit/loss statement. 

THE DECLINE OF GOLF AS A SPORT AND THE OBVIOUS EFFECT ON GOLF AS A BUSINESS: By David Fineg: MoreThoughts From Golf Is For Everyone

     So I have to laugh. I just can't help myself. You have brought out some characteristics of those who have started the game during "The Tiger Effect" who don't necessarily have a respect for the course or the game itself. Your observations of their behaviors are very accurate, I will have to say that. Here is where we disagree.  Those behaviors have been going on with golfers since the game began.
      I have witnessed the bad behavior in my career as a course assistant way before Tiger came out. Maybe its because there are more golfers on the course and the behaviors show themselves more often that we tend to place the blame on those who started the game during the Tiger years?  Perhaps it is our "few rules" culture that is finding its way into our game? I think that there is a lot at play here, but please don't blame new golfers for all the bad behavior we now see at the golf course. That's just not fair.
     I am not going to recap all the missteps that you mentioned these people are guilty of on the course. It may come as a surprise to you David that many experienced golfers are guilty of the same infractions. I know this from my experience.  Many times I would pull a late shift when the course was winding down and I would go fix the ball marks on the greens.  At the end of the day, many of the greens looked like the surface of the moon there were so many craters. I don't want to even mention the par 3 tees and the fairways. This was pre "Tiger Effect".  Thank you for pointing out all this golf misbehavior and you forgot to mention the club thrower and some other wonderful exhibits of exemplary golf behavior. This behavior is not exclusive to golfers that began playing because of Tiger.
     What you said about the driving range is fairly accurate. I too have seen golfers on the range that you talked about. However, the range is not the course. I can also ask the question as far as drinking and the other aspects of the range, What about Top Golf.  Isn't there a bar at Top Golf facilities.  In fact, don't most courses serve alcohol?
      How do we fix this problem?  First, we have to realize that it is not going to totally go away.  However, I think we can make it much better.  I think that the starting place is for facilities--courses and driving range--to provide excellent customer service. You have to make people feel welcomed at your facility.  There is a flip side to that too. Rules must be enforced and when bad behavior is encountered it must be confronted. You can confront bad behavior without being confrontational. You can still offer great customer service and still enforce the rules.  That's part of customer service.
      We as golfers tend to stay in our own little worlds when we are playing and don't necessarily pay attention to what is going on around us unless it directly effects us.  This is where course assistants are very valuable. Rules can be enforced with tact,negotiation, common sense and dignity.  There also needs to be a bottom line and that bottom line is that offenders who consistently go against the rules should be removed from the facility.  Its just that simple.  If they don't comply they can't stay because they are ruining the golf experience for others who are following the rules. The choice is their's. the ones exhibiting the bad behavior.
      Course assistants need to be better trained with specific guidelines and procedures. Training needs to be more than just a ride around with another course assistant. A smile and a "We're glad you are here" goes a long way. But you also have to have be prepared to ask a patron to leave, if it is OK with the pro shop.  That has to be the case as well.  The facility needs to have the firmness to ask an unruly golfer or group to leave. This would come after several suggestions and then warnings, of course.
     I hadn't intended these responses to go so long, but there is a lot here. Tomorrow, I want to focus on the golf facility itself and what it can do.

Let's protect the beauty of the game. We all love it.

     

THE DECLINE OF GOLF AS A SPORT AND THE OBVIOUS EFFECT ON GOLF AS A BUSINESS: By David Fineg: OUR REPONSE

     I want to first thank all of you for responding to this article.  It has overwhelmingly receive the most response and hits of any other post on this blog.  The comments were insightful and in most cases well thought out. We definitely hit a nerve with this one. Thanks David for sharing this with us, and many of our readers share your views.
     First, I have to say that no matter what your opinion may be Tiger was good for golf. He brought a new style and swagger to the game that we won't see for a very long time. Along with this came a renewed interest in the game of golf.  It was cool to play golf and yes a percentage of the people that started playing golf weren't exactly the serious golfing type. Many of these players have left the game for of a number of reasons, but here is the important fact.  Tiger brought a new wave of serious golfers, especially young players to the game. These players love the game and play it regularly. Not everyone who started the game because of Tiger have left the game, in fact many have stayed and I would venture a guess that the percentage is very high. These players have stuck out the "learning curve" knowing that golf is a difficult game and have become true lovers of the game and continue to play.
      I feel a bit uncomfortable using the term "golf monkeys".  Let's call them what they are, a bunch of idiots who don't respect anything, especially the rules, traditions and etiquett of the game of golf. I would venture a guess that they don't respect themselves, but that's another story. They are more at home at a football or baseball game than they are on a golf course.  And by the way, I am a big fan of baseball and football but I don't act that way.  These are the "let's go out to a golf course, get a whole lot of beer and tear up the course" bunch.  They only play maybe once a year and are not at the game to play golf, but only to drive the cart and get smashed.  I know these people and have had to deal with them as a marshal on many occasions. These are not golfers by any stretch of the imagination. They have been around forever, even before the Tiger years.  The "Tiger Effect" may have brought them out of the woodwork, but they were still there even before Tiger. Our permissive culture which has a hard time teaching values and respect hasn't helped much either.
     Golf has always had an open door policy to new players. Basically all you had to do to get into the game was to buy a second hand set of clubs with a bag and find some used balls.  You could then go pay your green fee and you were in business. In order to really play the game of golf, we as golfers know that there is more to it than that. Golf is not easy and a lot has to be learned. Golfers are always learning about their sport. You are always learning no matter how long you play in all aspects of the game on and off the course. Golf needs to do a better job of putting this point across to new golfers. Whose responsibility is it to carry this out?
      As golfers it is all our responsibility. This includes the pro--and it is not all his job-- the course assistant and the veteran player as well as the new player have a role to play. The main job of the golfer is first to have fun and secondly to become a student of the game. Golf lessons from the pro to the new golfer should include the ins and outs of playing the game with respect.  Course assistants should confront those players not respecting the game or the course in a polite and respectful manner. Veteran golfers should volunteer to mentor new golfers.  There is a lot that needs to be done.
    Thank you David for sharing your piece with us.  I do have more to say on this and will do so in future posts.      

Let's go out and play some golf.

THE DECLINE OF GOLF AS A SPORT AND THE OBVIOUS EFFECT ON GOLF AS A BUSINESS: By David Fineg

      This is an article that Mark and I discovered posted on one of the pages that we subscribe to. We want to say that the views expressed in this article are not necessarily those of Golf Is For Everyone. What we are hoping is the article will start a good discussion on the topic. Thank you for the post Mr. Fineg and I hope it will stimulate a vigorous discussion..



THE DECLINE OF GOLF AS A SPORT AND THE OBVIOUS EFFECT ON GOLF AS A BUSINESS

By David Fineg
an opinionated, intolerant insider

I do not know who coined the phrase "The Tiger Woods effect". I believe this person intended that the phrase be used to describe the immense increase in the number of people coming to the game of golf. Tiger is so phenomenally talented that many people have decided to take up the sport. This fact should be something to rejoice. It will prove to be a mixed blessing, at best. There will be profound effects on the game, as well as the business, of golf.

I do not know Tiger Woods and will probably never meet him, though I am sure he is a good and decent person. It is not his fault that his awesome ability has attracted a new species of would be golfer. I have named this new species the North American Couch Wrestling Golf Monkey. I would like to apologize right now, to all the actual monkeys on earth, as to lump these golfers in with monkeys is to do a disservice to the good name of monkeys everywhere. But, the name works for me, so...

Golf is a game of dignity, respect, integrity, and QUIET JUBILATION. Tiger appears to have been raised to have an appreciation for this fact. He knows how to behave on the golf course. Many of the new arrivals to golf bring none of these attributes with them. Golf is the last sport left, where the glorification of violence and disrespect is not an integral part of the game. A sport elevated above the moronic nonsense. The monkeys think violence and disrespect are cool. They even hurl their money at those that are good at behaving badly.

This is the last bastion of decorum in sports. The golf monkeys will have a hand in destroying the game, if they are allowed to bring their "in your face" attitude with them when they come to learn to play. The traditional golfer, (those that were taught by a peer or a parent before they ever set foot on a tee box) will not put up with golf monkeys for very long. They will leave the game after only a few rounds paired up with loud, unetiquetted (new word) oafs, so capable of ruining the experience that is the game of golf. Oh yeah: the traditional golfers are the ones that spend the real money, year after year. Golf monkeys will only spend money for the short time it takes them to discover an interesting fact about golf. This game is a lot harder than Tiger makes it look! When you consider that the golf monkey's greatest athletic achievement before golf, probably involved a bottle opener or a channel changer, it is easy to see why it doesn't take long for them to leave the game. But not before chasing off a few dedicated golfers. The golf monkeys will cost the business of golf dearly! It is important that anybody be able to recognize a golf monkey when they see one. With that in mind, I have assembled a number of telltale signs you can use to spot them. Once you have spotted one, you may choose to help them or help to get rid of them. BUT DO SOMETHING!

SPOTTING THEM ON THE COURSE

Nothing to mark their ball, or repair their ball mark.

No attempt made to locate their ball mark, much less repair it when they find it. Forget about repairing any others.

Walking right past the "beaver pelt" chunk they just carved out of the fairway, on the way back to the cart. Some monkeys will tamp down the excavation like that will do something.

When the rule is cart path only, they can be seen walking out to their shot with only one club in their hand.

When the rule is 90 deg., they drive right up the middle of the fairway to their next shot.

Underestimating the number of shots it took for more than one hole in a row.

Spotted heading out into the "OBYSS" after hitting that towering banana slice on a busy Saturday afternoon. "Hey, did anyone see where that one went out?"

HEARD BLURTING OUT "GO IN DA HOLE" OR "YOU DA MAN" AT ANY GOLFING EVENT, PUBLIC OR PRIVATE.

Anything remotely resembling a "hey batta batta" during someone's tee shot, approach, chip, or putt.

Tossing out that empty brewski or potato chip bag. "What?, it's near the cart path, I didn't throw it in the fairway."

Getting the golf bag on their back, caught in the doorway, on the way into the pro shop.

Cowboy boots, dress shoes, or waffle stompers.

Club damage, not the result of that stone in the fairway, but of that tree trunk they wrapped the club around after the ganked shot.

Picking up that lost golf ball, while it is still rolling. (Apologies to M. Twain)

Walking across, or putting out while standing directly on your line.

"Here it is!" As the ball slides out of their pants leg.

Driving up to the green, or parking on the teebox.

TELLS AT THE RANGE

Arriving with a six-pack and a couple of drivers.

Blasting shot after shot over the "slice fence" and never attempting an alignment change.

Destroying a 50 sq. ft. hitting station with only 45 golf balls. No clue how to crate a divot pattern, yet somehow learning something about their shots by looking at the craters.

Making fun of others (especially women) struggling to find their swing.

Offering up swing advice after curling off 5 consecutive worm-burners.

Chipping golf balls OFF the practice green.

In most of the European countries and many of the Asian nations, you are required to show proof of your attendance at golf etiquette class, before you are ever allowed to set foot on a golf course. It should be this way in the United States as well. As to the loud and bad behavior problems, one of the tour professionals could take care of that. By simply turning around after one of the golf monkeys blurts out "go in the hole" or "you da man", and saying to the moron, "Sir, golf is a game of dignity and QUIET JUBILATION, and I and every other real golfer would appreciate it if you would just SHUT UP! If you want to holler', go back to the wrestling arena and holler. This is golf... SHUT UP!""

But we all know that is not going to happen. If you spot a golf monkey, and you are in a mood to help them, PLEASE DO SO. It is important that we get rid of these individuals before they ruin the last great refuge from the "noise" that we have left.

ALL TEN CUPS ARTICLES PRINTED ON "SEPTIC SAFE" PAPER

How do you like them apples? Yep, I'm not sure of that. We have to have new golfers come into the game.