Fog

     If you are expecting some artistic description of playing golf in the fog, you would be very much mistaken. I don't do artsy-fartsy, but I have contended with playing golf in the fog. Believe it or not, I have had some of my best rounds in the fog, even one in a tournament.
     There are two things that you have to contend with here in California's Central Valley when you play golf during the winter. Yes, we are fortunate enough to play year round here but you do have to put up with a few annoyances. The first one is frost. We don't get snow on the floor of the valley, but the temperatures do hover around the freezing mark beginning about the middle of November. Many times you have to put up with two hour frost delays. Many of you on the East Coast are probably reacting to this by saying "Oh, poor babies," and you think we Californians are spoiled. We are, but the cold is still a nuisance and we have to deal with it. It is still COLD.
     The way most of us deal with that two hour frost delay is to just hang out in the coffee shop and have that breakfast burrito and second cup of coffee. The breakfast burritos are pretty good out here.  If you come out here to play, I highly recommend you try one. A lot of time is spent sharing golf yarns--slightly embellished, of course--and trying out new putters rolling the balls on the carpet of the pro shop.  In most cases, in order to pick up time because of the short daytime the pro starts everyone off on a shotgun start. We Californians are flexible, and we can still get the 18 in and have time for a beer at the nineteenth hole. As usual, the conversation normally comes around to the poor golfers back in Buffalo who are snowed in and can't play.
     The second condition that we have to contend with here in "The Valley" is the dense tule fog.  It hasn't been as bad in recent years--I don't know why--but you still have to deal with the reduced visibility. You can't see where your ball lands or is going when you hit it. You hope that the fairway on a par four or five is clear or the green is clear on a par three.
     When visibility is only one hundred yards, that can be a problem. You try to hit the ball between the tree on the right and the tree on the left and hope that the group in front were all clear when the guy in the foursome hollered "FAIRWAY CLEAR".  You hit and wait for silence. If you hear someone scream "OUCH! I'M STILL IN THE FAIRWAY" in pain out of the fog, you know you hit your shot just a bit too soon. Sometimes, that shot returns to you as if out of nowhere, at least out of that thick grey wall in front of you . You have to be careful. But, we still soldier on.
     I actually play better in the fog.  It seems as though you are not concentrating on how far the ball goes, so you make a very smooth swing. You know it is out there somewhere and in which general direction. After striking the ball--hopefully--the suspense is heightened awaiting any sound that may come your way such as the ball striking a branch or someone's head. The whole process is quite the adventure and well worth it. It's kind of like what they say in roulette, "Round and round--of course the ball isn't going around but it may be going to the left or right--she goes, where she stops, nobody knows."
     So, I play on even in winter. The game of golf must go on and I must play. By the way, I'm sorry about hitting you on the head in the fog yesterday.  I didn't see you. How about I send some flowers or maybe a box of See's candy. what's your hospital room number?

Thick fog in The Central Valley. I think this was the first hole at Riverside. Oh c'mon, I know this isn't fog but I don't have any foggy golf day pictures.