THE DECLINE OF GOLF AS A SPORT AND THE OBVIOUS EFFECT ON GOLF AS A BUSINESS: By David Fineg

      This is an article that Mark and I discovered posted on one of the pages that we subscribe to. We want to say that the views expressed in this article are not necessarily those of Golf Is For Everyone. What we are hoping is the article will start a good discussion on the topic. Thank you for the post Mr. Fineg and I hope it will stimulate a vigorous discussion..



THE DECLINE OF GOLF AS A SPORT AND THE OBVIOUS EFFECT ON GOLF AS A BUSINESS

By David Fineg
an opinionated, intolerant insider

I do not know who coined the phrase "The Tiger Woods effect". I believe this person intended that the phrase be used to describe the immense increase in the number of people coming to the game of golf. Tiger is so phenomenally talented that many people have decided to take up the sport. This fact should be something to rejoice. It will prove to be a mixed blessing, at best. There will be profound effects on the game, as well as the business, of golf.

I do not know Tiger Woods and will probably never meet him, though I am sure he is a good and decent person. It is not his fault that his awesome ability has attracted a new species of would be golfer. I have named this new species the North American Couch Wrestling Golf Monkey. I would like to apologize right now, to all the actual monkeys on earth, as to lump these golfers in with monkeys is to do a disservice to the good name of monkeys everywhere. But, the name works for me, so...

Golf is a game of dignity, respect, integrity, and QUIET JUBILATION. Tiger appears to have been raised to have an appreciation for this fact. He knows how to behave on the golf course. Many of the new arrivals to golf bring none of these attributes with them. Golf is the last sport left, where the glorification of violence and disrespect is not an integral part of the game. A sport elevated above the moronic nonsense. The monkeys think violence and disrespect are cool. They even hurl their money at those that are good at behaving badly.

This is the last bastion of decorum in sports. The golf monkeys will have a hand in destroying the game, if they are allowed to bring their "in your face" attitude with them when they come to learn to play. The traditional golfer, (those that were taught by a peer or a parent before they ever set foot on a tee box) will not put up with golf monkeys for very long. They will leave the game after only a few rounds paired up with loud, unetiquetted (new word) oafs, so capable of ruining the experience that is the game of golf. Oh yeah: the traditional golfers are the ones that spend the real money, year after year. Golf monkeys will only spend money for the short time it takes them to discover an interesting fact about golf. This game is a lot harder than Tiger makes it look! When you consider that the golf monkey's greatest athletic achievement before golf, probably involved a bottle opener or a channel changer, it is easy to see why it doesn't take long for them to leave the game. But not before chasing off a few dedicated golfers. The golf monkeys will cost the business of golf dearly! It is important that anybody be able to recognize a golf monkey when they see one. With that in mind, I have assembled a number of telltale signs you can use to spot them. Once you have spotted one, you may choose to help them or help to get rid of them. BUT DO SOMETHING!

SPOTTING THEM ON THE COURSE

Nothing to mark their ball, or repair their ball mark.

No attempt made to locate their ball mark, much less repair it when they find it. Forget about repairing any others.

Walking right past the "beaver pelt" chunk they just carved out of the fairway, on the way back to the cart. Some monkeys will tamp down the excavation like that will do something.

When the rule is cart path only, they can be seen walking out to their shot with only one club in their hand.

When the rule is 90 deg., they drive right up the middle of the fairway to their next shot.

Underestimating the number of shots it took for more than one hole in a row.

Spotted heading out into the "OBYSS" after hitting that towering banana slice on a busy Saturday afternoon. "Hey, did anyone see where that one went out?"

HEARD BLURTING OUT "GO IN DA HOLE" OR "YOU DA MAN" AT ANY GOLFING EVENT, PUBLIC OR PRIVATE.

Anything remotely resembling a "hey batta batta" during someone's tee shot, approach, chip, or putt.

Tossing out that empty brewski or potato chip bag. "What?, it's near the cart path, I didn't throw it in the fairway."

Getting the golf bag on their back, caught in the doorway, on the way into the pro shop.

Cowboy boots, dress shoes, or waffle stompers.

Club damage, not the result of that stone in the fairway, but of that tree trunk they wrapped the club around after the ganked shot.

Picking up that lost golf ball, while it is still rolling. (Apologies to M. Twain)

Walking across, or putting out while standing directly on your line.

"Here it is!" As the ball slides out of their pants leg.

Driving up to the green, or parking on the teebox.

TELLS AT THE RANGE

Arriving with a six-pack and a couple of drivers.

Blasting shot after shot over the "slice fence" and never attempting an alignment change.

Destroying a 50 sq. ft. hitting station with only 45 golf balls. No clue how to crate a divot pattern, yet somehow learning something about their shots by looking at the craters.

Making fun of others (especially women) struggling to find their swing.

Offering up swing advice after curling off 5 consecutive worm-burners.

Chipping golf balls OFF the practice green.

In most of the European countries and many of the Asian nations, you are required to show proof of your attendance at golf etiquette class, before you are ever allowed to set foot on a golf course. It should be this way in the United States as well. As to the loud and bad behavior problems, one of the tour professionals could take care of that. By simply turning around after one of the golf monkeys blurts out "go in the hole" or "you da man", and saying to the moron, "Sir, golf is a game of dignity and QUIET JUBILATION, and I and every other real golfer would appreciate it if you would just SHUT UP! If you want to holler', go back to the wrestling arena and holler. This is golf... SHUT UP!""

But we all know that is not going to happen. If you spot a golf monkey, and you are in a mood to help them, PLEASE DO SO. It is important that we get rid of these individuals before they ruin the last great refuge from the "noise" that we have left.

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How do you like them apples? Yep, I'm not sure of that. We have to have new golfers come into the game.