Something Fishy About This Post

      I have an apology to make to you my readers. I am sorry that I haven't posted in the last few days.  It is very important that I post almost daily as I am beginning to realize how much you my readers depend on my humor and comments. You understand how my posts strongly impact your lives. There are no excuses, but I do offer this explanation. Life and jury duty get in the way sometimes of good intentions.  With that in mind, here is today's post.
      Have you ever wondered what life is like for a fish living in a water hazard or pond on a golf course's key hole?  I am not talking about a pond that is there just to beautify the course which doesn't come into play, but one that is crucial to the play of the course and comes very much into play. I always wondered what life is like from the perspective of that great big bass that you see close to the surface and what his view of the game of golf is through a fish eye lens.  Yes, I did have to say that.  So, enter with me if you will the world of a big bass living in a pond on a golf course. Remember, his world is a very small one.
      My name is Big Billy Bass (Ok, so the name isn't original but I'm here at a McDonald's in Wal Mart having my car's oil changed writing this and I couldn't think of anything very original. It is Wal Mart after all.: ed. note) and I live in a great big pond. Every now and then I come up close to the land and surface of the pond to observe the strange behavior of some of the land based animals who live around the pond. They are a strange lot who seem to be made up of two parts. Every now and then they come apart to take a stick out of their back end. They walk up to a small round object, then take that stick and hit the small round object.  They must be a violent animal those land animals. I feel sorry for that small round object.
     I don't know if that small round object is alive or not. Many of them have wound up in our pond, but there were no signs of life when they came to us.  They make a big splash and we always know when one is going to join us with the sound of that splash.  They don't seem to be able to breathe under water here with us. It seems as though they are dead from the severe trauma of being hit by the  land animal's stick. All I know is that there sure are a lot of them here at the bottom of our pond. There is no sign of life among them.
     I have observed that just before one of those small round objects comes splashing down into the pond, the land animal hits it and lets out a loud noise.  That noise is not recognizable and I can't tell what it is because the water muffles the sound.  It kind of looks like from the body language of the animal that what happened was not good. The sound reminds me of the sound that Bobby The Bluegill made just after he bit on that worm with the hook in it and was never seen again. Maybe what the land animal did was not a pleasant thing when he hit the round object and it wound up in the pond. What do Iknow, I'm only a fish.
     Here comes a land animal and he is ready to strike the little round object. INCOMING!
                                            CLUNK............
     Ow, that hit me on the top of my head square between the gills and fins.  What did he want to do that for?  Can't the idiot see that I am swimming right here? Those land animals are not very considerate, are they?
      He's swinging the stick again, only this time not at the small round object. There's that horrible noise again.
LOOK OUT! HERE COMES THE STICK
                                           SPLASH!

I wonder if Billy Bass is watching.