When Push Comes To I Quit

      My wife and I were driving to go grocery shopping this morning and the topic of children in sports came up. She played on her college basketball team and grew up playing softball to the point that in her adult years she  was playing in many travel leagues. Her parents were very encouraging towards her playing these sports.  I began playing golf at the age of thirteen.  My parents strongly discouraged my golf saying it was a waste of my time.  My wife would like to continue to play softball but all those years of catching has taken it's toll. Her and I have a lot of fun playing golf together. Would we still be out there if we had "sports parents" that destroy for their children the games that they should be enjoying by pushing their children too hard or harshly criticizing their kids performances?  
      No matter the sport, be it youth baseball, softball, soccer, golf or tiddly-winks a recent study by The National Alliance of Sports was done that showed 70% of kids don't keep playing a competitive sport after the age of fourteen. That is pretty shocking, especially in an age where we are in a fierce battle with obesity among children.  This is a tragic statistic and the trend has to be reversed. The question has to be asked why is this?
       What should motivate an athlete to play a sport, even at an early age?  I think it should be the joy of playing that sport and most of all focusing on how much fun the sport is to play. There should be a huge element of enjoyment of the sport.  What has happened in a lot of cases is that we have lost sight of that and replaced it with a "Win at all cost" mentality. Winning is the aim of any sport, but just important is playing the sport hand having fun while you play it.  If you take the "fun" aspect out of a sport, that sport becomes like a job and yes you can enjoy your job but it still is a job. It goes into the "have to" category and not under the "I would love to because it is a lot of fun" heading. Many parents and coaches through their desire to "Win At All Cost" attitudes suck the fun right out of their children's participation in sports.  We lose them.
       I am not advocating the "everyone gets a trophy for participating" mentality here.  That is very harmful because it just doesn't teach success in real life where there are winners and losers. If you come out to practice a sport and are dedicated to that sport, you should get a trophy.  Its just that the trophy for the "Most Valuable Player" and "Most Improved" should be a lot bigger than those handed out to all the players on a team. Winner's trophies should be huge and gaudy because you have accomplished something through your outstanding efforts. Winning is good, but so is the process of learning what you have to do to get there and the process of learning more about the game you play in order to play well.  That's the key, celebrate the process of learning the game not the outcome of winning. Winning comes later.
       We all have different time tables when we learn something new.  Since we are individuals, our learning curves look a lot different. Coach's need to be aware of this.  The main goal of a sport is to enjoy playing the sport and winning can be a part of that. But where is a ten year old on their learning curve?  A lot of ten year olds may not be able to get that thirty yard chip close to the flag.  Do we tell them that they will never amount to anything and don't have "it" to play the game of golf.  Do we criticize them for not getting the ball close to the hole?  No, we continue to coach that ten year old and have them practice.  We make practice fun and keep encouraging him or her. Guess what, at age fifteen they are sinking that chip.
       We are losing some of our best athletes before they even have a chance to be the best they can be. We are losing the true meaning of sport and that is to enjoy the sport that you are playing.  That's a tragedy.  We have to put the "fun" back into sports, especially for youth.

My daughter has been playing competitively since age 12 and she still enjoys playing golf.