I just woke up. Last night numbers were drawn for one of the biggest lottery jackpots in history. The amount of that jackpot exceeded $500 million . I wonder who won it? Maybe I should check my numbers, do you think? Let's do that.
Where is my ticket? Let's see, where did I put it. Oh yes, here it is stuck on the refrigerator. That was a great trip to Karvakle, New Mexico by the way. I need to get my glasses on. I can remember when I had 2010 vision but those days are long gone. What are the numbers? The winning numbers according to my computer screen were 47, 2, 63, 62, 11 and the Powerball was 17. Here are my ticket and my numbers--47, yep-2, yep-63,yep-62,yep. I'm getting a little nervous here. I guess I'll keep going--11, yep. What is the PowerBall number--17? Do I have that? No, it can't be. It is!
I WON! I WON! I WON! I am half a billion dollars richer. What do I do with it all?
I need to calm down, because the task at hand is daunting. How do I spend it all. Let's start by giving a couple million to charity. Pastor Dave is going to have a heart attack when he finds out that I will be funding the church's budget for the next year. That's OK, I am happy to do that. I think a million should find itself into junior and kid's golf as well as disabled golf programs. That ought to make Mark and Rich happy.
I'll give my wife $100,000 to spend. She can do with it whatever she wants to. She loves electronic gadgets so she can use that $100K for whatever electronic toys she wants. She can show them off at work. I am so generous with that fine lady. As a bonus, I think I will buy her a new wedding ring. The last one cost $300 and that was about all we could spend on a ring at the time. Maybe I'll splurge and go as high as $1000, but that's stretching it. (I love you Dear but before you move a bed into the shed and me with it, please keep reading and I would never do that to you if I won all that money.)
So much for giving stuff away, now what am I going to do for me with the money? My golf career has been pretty much put on hold due to transportation--ie. car. I think I will start with a car or two. Right now my wife pretty much drives our car, mostly to work. I don't want her to stop work so that she doesn't get bored. Me not having a car causes a problem because I have no way to get to the golf course to play golf. I need a car. Why stop at just one, and the Taurus is running just fine so she can keep the Taurus. As for me, how about a Mercedes or two. After all, I earned it.
I would start playing golf again, especially now that I have a couple of Mercedes. How much is it to join the County Club anyway. I heard it was up for sale, so how much would it be to buy the place? I could do that. Clint Eastwood did at Tehama. Hey Clint, can I come play your golf course by the way? I'm rich now, you know. Please?
Speaking of playing golf, why should I limit myself to just playing golf locally. I should try Australia? I can't do that unless it was during Thanksgiving, Christmas or Easter vacations because my wife has to work and those are the only time she gets off work except for summers. Can't go to Australia during the summer because it is winter down there--duh. I might have to settle for Hawaii, Florida, the Caribbean, Mexico or Myrtle Beach, or go by myself. I'm really sorry Dear. I would spend a week at the Lodge at Pebble Beach and play Pebble as well as as many of the courses in Monterey as I could. I would take a few friends, as well. Honey, you are invited especially if we play during the summer when you are off. I don't want you to miss any work.
I'm out of golf balls so I would buy several thousand dozen of ProV's. Why not, I can afford it. My garage is big enough to store them. Yes, I would not buy a new house as houses are very expensive to maintain. I like the rental idea, and the house we are in is very comfortable. My wife likes to move around and I don't so we are staying here. Don't worry, the garage will handle the golf balls. Oh wait, where will we put the two Mercedes? The Taurus will just have to stay outside in the driveway.
Of course I would have to invest in some new clubs. The first thing I would do is buy a new Directed Force putter from Bill Presse. Why not, I can afford it. In fact Bill, why don't you build me five. They are great putters. You gave one to Mark.
I think I will buy a new set of TaylorMades and a new driver. No, how about a new set of Callaways with a new Callaway driver. I have enough money, I would like to meet Phill and have lunch with him. How about a new set of Pings? How about I buy all three? That is a great idea. Hey Mark, can I fly up to Yuma and you can fit me for a new set of Henry Griffitts? I would love that. How about a new set for my wife? She may not be able to go to Pebble with me because she has to work so the least I can do for her is to get her a set of custom Henry Griffitts. By the way Mark, do you know Mike Schy or Bill Phillipps out
of Madera? Never mind.
Let me see, what else can I come up with as far as golf to spend my money? Hmmm....
Honey, Honey it's getting late and you need to wake up. You have a blog to write and I have to get to work.Your readers depend on you. You don't want to disappoint Mark, Fred, Brad and Rich. Wake up. WAKE UP!
Does this mean I didn't win the Lottery?
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OK, I'm up and ready to meet the day. Have a good day at work Dear. |